Good Day!

I tend to be a bit superstitious so I'm going with the "Three's a Charm!" My January, April and now my July MRI have all been good. After a long day in Cleveland filled with anxiety and emotions we had very good results. My Doc. said my MRI looked improved in some areas and stable in all other areas! I'm not real sure how to put into words the relief this was/is! I understand why they want me to go for an MRI every 3 months but it's the anticipation of "will this be the time it's back?" that is hard. This was the most optimistic my Doctor has ever been about my situation so that was very encouraging. She was also very upfront about what kind of treatment we would approach next if or when needed. That's a little difficult to think about but like she said it's good to have a plan and it's nice for us to be informed of what may be ahead. Unfortunately brain tumors are pretty unpredictable but she kept reminding us of how pleased she was with my MRI. So for tonight and the next three months we're hanging on to all the good things she had to say to us today. Oh- she also said that as long as things continue to go well I should be able to quit treatment after round #14!!!! That's not too far away considering that I will start round #11 Monday. Hopefully things will continue to go as hoped for and I can be done with this soon!

More good news! My Aunt is also doing well! Thanks for your prayers!

As long as my platelets are up I will start treatment Monday. I had counted the weeks wrong in my apt. book so now I have a bit of rearranging to do with work for the next two weeks. It should work out fine.

Thanks for all of your prayers for today! I really can't say Thank You enough!

Love,

Jess

so for some reason this thing is not letting me separate my paragraphs! Computers!!!! :(

Checking in.

I've been feeling pretty good lately. Right now I feel like I'm learning how to "live" with cancer and not let cancer get the best of me. I'm doing okay with it. It seems like since I was diagnosed cancer is everywhere I turn. I know that is partly because I am more aware of it. It is very frustrating to see it come into people's lives and disrupt their lives, dreams, everything. Leslie's run with cancer has just been horrible. It's simply unfair. I don't get it. Why does it have to be so complicated for them? Why can't they make her well?! I just want her to have this "normalcy" that I have. I do believe it will come but how much longer must they wait?!

We also have an Aunt in our family who was recently diagnosed. Tomorrow she will undergo surgery and I just pray for her to have peace about it. I pray for her entire family to have a peace about it. She's a great lady and I'm so proud to call her my Aunt!

This past weekend we spent at the lake of which my family has had ties to for many years. We were able to spend time there with our family and friends. We had such a great time. I love my family and I'm so proud of this family I come from.

Next Wednesday, July 23rd I go to Cleveland for my regular MRI. I will have an MRI in the mid morning then meet with my oncologist (Dr. Tekautz) in the early afternoon. So I pray and believe that my next post will be with great results from my appointment. This next visit Mike will be going with me and Lisa (my mother-in-law) will be going. Lisa has not yet been able to see the Cleveland Clinic and etc. When I had my surgery she stayed at our house and took care of Luke for us so she's anxious to see the place and meet some of my doctors.

I'll be in touch. In the meantime I hope you can all add my Aunt to your prayers and keep praying for Leslie and her family.

Love,
Jess

ROUND # 10

Monday I started round # 10 of chemo. So far I'm feeling okay. I think I'm getting used to it and now I know that yes I won't feel up to par for a week or so but it will pass and life WILL go on. I have to go to the medical group every other week for my routine blood draw. I always get it done on the Monday that I'm supposed to start treatment. As you may remember my platelet count has been a problem in the past. My platelets have to be over 100,000 to be able to start treatment. Well they had been consistently dropping every month by 20 to 30,000 getting near the 100,000 mark. So I was kind of anticipating that this treatment might get pushed back a few days or maybe even a week. When my platelet count has been too low to start treatment in the past I asked the Doctor if there was anything I could do to bring my count up and she quickly responded with NO. You have no control over your counts. It is a side effect of chemo.
Well, to my very pleasant surprise and with no explanation this Monday when the nurse called me from Cleveland to let me know if I could take my chemo she said that all my counts (white cell and etc.) were all up considerably higher than they have typically been in the past months. To the best of my knowledge that doesn't just happen. That's not typical. That's prayer. Answered prayer. Healing. This may not seem like much to anyone else but to me this was a huge encouragement. It's hard for me to explain how hopeful and encouraged that I was by this! So treatment started on Monday as scheduled and I will be enjoying the fireworks as I take my last chemo meds for this round on Friday!

Luke's Birthday week was awesome. He's great. We had a party for him and his friends on Saturday and it was a blast. It couldn't of went better. We had a great week with him celebrating his Birthday almost all week. It was good for me mentally. I'm feeling very optimistic right now and trying to enjoy everyday.

Have a great July 4Th!

Jess

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LUKE!!!!!!!!!!!

In just a few short hours it will be Thursday June 26th in which we will celebrate Luke's Birthday! We have big plans for the week. He has been celebrating all week. We are hoping the weather will cooperate so we can visit the zoo for the first time this year and then out for lunch at his favorite train restaurant. Our big Birthday celebration is supposed to take place on Saturday. Luke has invited several friends for a party at our house. We rented a big inflatable and plan on having the kids just play outside in the pool and the sprinklers, see the horses, etc. As of right now the weather isn't looking favorable. They're calling for rain! :( So Luke has been praying all day that God will not let it rain on his Birthday party day!

I can't find the words to describe the blessing that he is to our lives. Luke has always blessed us. He was a good baby from the start. He's never really given us a real tough time. Don't get me wrong he's still rotten at times. We know that through all we've experienced in the last year that God has given us our strength but Luke keeps are heads' up. He has such a humor about him. Several times throughout the day he has us just laughing uncontrollably. He's just an absolute riot! As I sit here and try to find the words to describe the pure joy he brings to our lives tears are just running down my face. I can be having an absolutely terrible day and when he walks in the room his smile just lights up my world!

I want to live for many reasons but Luke makes me fight this cancer 100x harder. No matter where this journey takes me I just pray that Luke will know how much I love him. I will always know that I have been blessed to have the two greatest men/boys I have ever known in my life.
Luke, I love you more than ten thousand worlds!!!!!

XOXO

MOM

9 Down ?? to go.

I finished up round #9 of chemo this past Friday. It went okay. It was still chemo. I'm feeling well right now and finally back to "normal." I know it's been awhile since the last time I posted something and so much as been going on since then. For one we had my mom's surprise 50th Birthday party and that was great! The last time I wrote I was doing okay emotionally with this *&%#@. and then not so well. I think all the talk about Senator Kennedy and his brain tumor may have triggered it. Everyone was talking about the statistics and what not. All the "experts" were on T.V. giving their grim expectations for his survival and the survival of brain cancer. It also occurred to me that when they removed my tumor they said that they hope for it not to come back for 2 to 3 years and I realized it will be one year pretty soon. That definitely had me panicked. Let's just say I had a real setback for a few weeks or so. I was starting to believe I was going to die tomorrow. Well thank the Lord I have a much better outlook now. I'm feeling much more positive and more determined than ever that I WILL WIN THIS BATTLE.

This weekend is Relay For Life. I hope everyone who is able to will support this. Cancer sucks and we need more knowledge, more studies, more survivors! I've done a lot of research on cancer and survivor-ship since my diagnosis. I don't know if mine could have been prevented but I have learned that there is a lot we can do ourselves to lessen our chances. So I am strongly encouraging everyone to educate yourselves. Eat right, exercise, and read the word of God (all that about the eating and such is actually right there).

Last but surely not Least, a tribute to all the "Mike's" out there. Cancer surely is miserable for the one with the diagnosis but it's miserable for those who are there with you. Those of us with cancer get the sympathy and the prayers but sometimes forgotten is the one who is holding our hand the whole way! Mike is the one who carries all the weight on his shoulders. Holding up his job, a side job, a rowdy little boy, a sick wife, a home, and trying to be the strong one all the time. His burdens are not the same but just as big. I'm also blessed with a mom who would give me a new brain if she could and a family that would do anything to "fix" this. I also have found that I have great friends. I read once in some cancer book that your friendships will change throughout this and it was right. Some friendships have faded and others have been made so strong. Each and every person who stands by someone who is fighting cancer is truly fighting cancer too. So THANK YOU to ALL of you!!

So long for now. I hope everyone is enjoying their Summer. We sure are! By the way, I forgot to add Luke is still just as awesome as ever!!!!! CUTE TOO!!!!

Love,
Jessie

Cruise Control

Not too much new to report. I'm feeling very well. In fact I realized today that it seems like I'm riding along on cruise control. Things are going well. Chemo has become a part of life and I seem to be fairly used to it and know a bit more of what to expect. We're just counting down the rounds one at a time. One year of treatment will be complete by mid September. When I started they told me I would do it for at least a year but no longer than 18 months. So my prayers are begging to be done in September. In the meantime I've realized to appreciate the health I have right now and that most of my days are good. I'm living a fairly normal life and I can play with Luke just like before all this was a part of our life. So things are good for us.
There's a song that plays over and over in my head and it has seemed to help me find peace. I can't tell you who wrote it but it goes like this, "I'm not skilled to understand what God has willed, what God has planned............" It's helped me to let go of the "WHY." I don't get it. I don't know if I will ever understand but I've realized we don't have to get it we just have to trust in God. Letting go of why is hard, and I still fight it but I'm getting closer.

Take care,
Jessie

P.S. I was a Grey's Anatomy fan but currently it's rotten! Those of you who are watching will know why!!!!

FRUSTRATION

Tonight will be the last night for round #8 that I will take chemo but the effect usually lasts through early next week. This treatment has been tolerable. I've had some stomach pain and nausea but has been better than some prior treatments. The most annoying part is the ridiculous fatigue. Chemo stinks.

Last night we received news that Leslie's cancer has spread now to her lungs. I don't know many of the details but apparently it's in the lining of her lungs. I have never met Leslie in person but she has become someone very special to me. She in one of the few people who could really relate to what I am going through and encourage me and I hope I've been able to do the same for her. Leslie has been very ill for a very long time now. I'm crushed by this news but I can only imagine how heartbreaking this is for her husband Tyson and little TJ. I'm asking for you to pray for miraculous healing and that she will be well and with her boys soon. To follow her journey and get updates you can go to www.forleslie.blogspot.com

That's all for today. I'm at a loss for words.
Love, Jessie