One to go!

Treatment week is over and now only one more to go!

Something is weighing kind of heavy on my mind right now. Someone recently asked me how I was doing and I responded with "good." They asked me if I was all done with my surgeries and etc. and I responded with something like "yeah, I suppose for now." Then later this person said to me "well no one knows when their cancer is going to come back." This is just a hard part of this that I really don't know how to explain. I know that terrible tragedies happen to young and old people all the time. I also realize that there is always someone else out there who has it MUCH worse than myself. I do try to be very positive about my "situation," and I know that no one knows what tomorrow will bring and that no one is guaranteed a tomorrow here with their family. What I struggle with and feel as though it came across wrongly to this person was that with brain tumors they've (the Dr.'s and statistics) have always said that it's not IF the tumor will return but when. At my last apt. they told me that when the tumor begins to grow again the next step would most likely be surgery again followed by radiation. The Dr.'s also have told us from the beginning that they hoped for 2 to 3 years before the tumor returned. I do have hope that the tumor will not return and that I can be a miracle but the Dr.'s are very upfront with us and so I guess what I'm saying is I don't know how to respond to these types of situations. I AM doing very well right now. I guess I know the reality of it all is that it's probably not over yet. That doesn't mean that I have lost hope. Sometimes I question my Faith, is it not strong enough? It's all confusing to me and to Mike for that matter. We want to celebrate that I'm done with chemo but we also can't help but silently wonder is this time off chemo going to be the calm before the storm? Maybe I responded wrong to this person's questions, I just don't know what to say. If someone asks how I'm feeling it's the truth when I say I'm feeling good. It is hard for me to get past what has been told to us about brain cancer and I try not to get lost in all the statistics but sometimes I do. So I hope I didn't come across wrongly to this person, I am optimistic about it all and trying also to be prepared mentally for what could be ahead.

All that being said, we have some very good news! Mike's mom got a call from the Dr.'s that the pathology report came back and it was benign! Whoo-who!! What a relief! Today I had the privilege of walking for my Aunt who IS a breast cancer survivor at the 5k in Toledo for Breast Cancer! It was a beautiful day and I was so glad to be able to go!

Goodnight for now! It's been a long week and I'm so ready for some serious sleep!!!!

Have a great week!

Love,
Jess

By the way this blog was originally created by Janel (friend and co-worker) to keep everyone updated. I have realized that some of you who may not have known that probably thought by the top part of the description of myself that I just really think highly of myself! I did not write those very nice things about myself although I find them very sweet! :)