Thank you for your continued support. We get to where we kind of count on it. I can't imagine anyone doing it alone. As you can imagine after what Jessie went through Tuesday there is some swelling now. If I remember correctly it should start to improve tomorrow. Dr Barnett wanted to check some things during this exact time to make sure all her meds are administered at the correct dosage. Soooo, he ordered another test which I'm told takes up to 24 hours. Hopefully tomorrow they will release her. If you know how these places are you know patients rest half an hour at a time. I'm looking forward to getting her home for some peace and quiet. I know what you're thinking... 8 year olds don't know still and quiet! Luke was a gift at appropriately the right time. He's a wonderful child of God with a huge heart full of compassion for people. I've seen it over and over. He reminds me so much of his Mom. He will be as good a nurse as anyone. I expect him to be a big help without my asking it of him. He spent the day helping friends clean the windows and floors at home. I wouldn't believe it if I didn't see the pictures ha. We long for the view of familiar ground and faces. She is well taken care of here and at home. I understand wanting to see her smiling face, but this kind of thing is tough on a body of any age.Please no visitors for a while. Thank you all. Mike

She made it!!! 10 hours of preop, MRI tests, and surgery. I can only imagine how strong she must be. Sore and swollen but still she smiles at people. How wonderful it was to see each other again. Today she has made good efforts at recovery. Food and sleep when the body needs it are gifts from above. Jessie was on her feet already so on to our own room. Everyone's prayers and messages were what get you through something like this. We can't thank you enough. Every day is a blessing from the lord. Never overlook a chance to show kindness and a smile. Hug those you care about because you never know how many you'll get. Praise the Lord for his presence her this week and for his healing hand. More updates this week. Hopefully soon you will hear from her in her own words. Mike

Not too much to say......I know that 's not normal for me :)

Well, we're ok.  Just taking a day at a time.  Everyday is different and sometimes how we're doing changes with the minute, hour, or day.  It's been hard, harder the second time in ways.  Less of a shock maybe this time but hard knowing what's ahead of us.  I absolutely want nothing to do with surgery next week.  Nothing at all.  We leave Monday morning for Cleveland and will most likely be there a good part of the week.  Surgery is first thing Tuesday. Fortunately Luke will be able to stay with family in the comforts of his own home! We are so so very thankful for family and friends.  I don't know how we would do this without their support.

Sweet Luke......I want to protect that precious little boy so badly.  My heart just breaks seeing that this definitely has affected him.  It was so much easier when he was too little to know what was going on. He's doing good really, probably better than I think.  I just see how he responds to some things and some of his questions and I see that he is a little scared too.  He had his tonsils out on the first day of summer vacation this year and I think that was a blessing in disguise.  He now has some understanding of what surgery is and that you don't feel well for a few weeks.  I think that will really help him understand this process.  Yes, this is a bit more complex but hopefully not so in his mind.  We've talked with him quite a bit about this all but not too in depth.  I hope that everyone is careful with what they share with their children for Luke's sake.  I just want so desperately to protect him.  Praying that this will only make him stronger and a more compassionate man someday.  Man????  ewww......BOY...let's keep him a boy for awhile.

Mike......he's ok too.  He wants to "fix" it and he can't so therefor he's maybe not really ok.  I hate cancer.  I really don't like the word "hate" except when it comes to cancer.  I hate it like HATE it.

I've been on a mission to tie up lose ends these last few weeks and this weekend.  I guess it's kind of like nesting.  Top things I had to do before surgery:  Clean house, clean my car, and pay bills.  The three things that absolutely make me crazy if there not done.  My house is not spick and span but I like a "picked up house" and I cannot stand it when my car is dirty!  I like a clean car.  Clean house and clean car just give me a sense of having it "together!"  I don't like to have bills laying around either.  I have to leave them on the counter so I don't forget about them but I don't like clutter on my counter so it makes me pay bills. :)  I have those 3 things pretty well done.  The laundry........well it's still in the dryer.  It can stay there awhile :)

So I'm checking out for awhile.  Mike says he is going to update the blog while I'm off  so that could be interesting!  If he can't, someone else will.  


I think I'll leave the "news" for another time.   I'm excited to share it with you but I'm out of words for tonight and I would really like to share my heart with you about it so it's going to have to wait!


Thank you very much for your prayers and love.  


Love,
Jess

Another day at Cleveland

Surgery it is.....July 24.  Not at all what we wanted but we were definitely convinced that it was the right choice for me.  I'm beyond exhausted and really want to be in my bed so this is going to be short and sweet.  My surgeon feels very confident that he can remove it all and feels like there is very minimal risk involved.  So that's the good news inside the bad.  I will be taking approximately 4-6 weeks off work which is quite overwhelming.......a lot of phone calls to make in the next week.  I will be working however until the surgery.   I plan to be very busy enjoying Summer with my boys on my days off until surgery.

We are emotionally totally wiped out.

Please know that I appreciate every single text, message, call, etc.  I don't always respond as I'm trying not to be on my phone too much and trying to cherish each moment with Luke and Mike.  Your prayers and little messages mean a ton to me......they really do.

I do have some specific prayer request for you prayer warriors!  Most important is that the grade of the tumor has not went up.  That will be determined after it is removed.  Next, that I don't have to do chemo.  My surgeon suggested that might be a possibility.  A slim possibility but worth praying for!  I absolutely dread chemo.

I will write more later, tonight I'm just too tired.

Oh and I do have some exciting news but I keep you in suspense for those of you who don't know until next time! :)

Good night for now,
Love,
Jess

The sting of old wounds.

Yesterday we went to Cleveland for my functional MRI.  It's a very intense MRI that does brain mapping.  This is the MRI that will determine if surgery is the right choice for me or not.  It will also be the MRI that would guide them through surgery.  It was a little over an hour long.  To say the least , yesterday was a very hard day.  I was somewhere I never wanted to be again nor thought I'd be again, doing something I never wanted to do again.  The building seemed to be filled with very very ill and severely sick people.  It seemed as they all were dying.  I don't want to "fit" in there.  I felt like we were threw right back into a tough reality.  The last week or so had actually been very good.  Most days I could actually forget about all that was ahead of us but yesterday made it very real.  The MRI itself is very stressful and exhausting but the emotions of it all were equally tough.

We go back Monday to meet with my surgeon and discuss the results and find out if we will do surgery or start right away with chemo.  Originally I wanted the surgery because they said that's always their first choice because they can remove so much at once then follow up with chemo to get whatever's left.  After being there yesterday, I DO NOT want surgery.  I do not want to go through this again.  I do not want to do chemo for that matter either.

Today I feel like I'm still sorting out the emotions, trying to get back on my feet again.  It seems so much harder with Luke being older.  Right now I want to go to a deserted Island for about 6 months and come back and it all be over with!

I know that Christ took all our sickness with him to the cross and I've really been claiming that.  I would be shouting to the world to go back and have those Dr.'s say there's nothing there.......a miraculous healing!  I am on my knees..............a lot.   I can't change this, neither can Mike which is so hard to except but HE can.

Mike for that matter is struggling.  He won't like that I said that but he needs your prayers as much as I do.  He doesn't talk about it much, I think he's trying to be strong for Luke and I.

We are fortunate to have awesome people in our lives.  We have some of the BEST friends and family in the world.  We need them all and we are soooo very thankful for each and everyone of you.

On another note, our friends have been going through the adoption process and could really use some prayer.  It has been a very long and exhausting road for them.  They have been fortunate enough to have spent the last 6 months with an amazing little girl that has forever changed their lives.  Praying that they get to bring her HOME for good very soon.  We love her too and can't wait to spend more time with her!  She's cuter than you can imagine! :)

Well some healing took place while I typed this out so now I better get back to the reality of laundry, bills, cleaning....etc!  Gag......I'd rather go lay in the pool all day!

My favorite verse:  "I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me."  Phil 4;13    

Love, Jess