Wednesday, April 30, 2008

GOOD REPORT!

We're back from Cleveland with a good report. I didn't have to spend the night which was nice. They ended up fitting all my apt.'s into one day. First apt. today was my MRI which is always the never racking one. As the machine beeps and shakes I lay there with my eyes closed praying that God will show the Dr.'s his miraculous healing. Next was my oncologist apt. in which my MRI was read and as we had prayed and hoped for a good report. I didn't see my usual oncologist so this one wasn't as familiar with my last scan to compare it with this one. He did say though that there was definitely NO growth. He said one could argue if it the "white area" (which we want to disappear) was smaller. This is good. He also said that this "area" could possibly even be scarring from surgery. I definitely felt as though this scan showed improvement in comparison to the last scan. Hopefully I will talk tomorrow with my regular oncologist to she what she thinks. My last apt. was my EEG. Apparently my oncologist wants to see if my seizure meds could be cut back and possibly go off of them in time. I would love that. I don't like having to take all these pills not to mention the cost of so many monthly meds. Even with good insurance co-pays add up quickly. I won't know the results of the EEG till possibly Wed. or so. They shouldn't be much to worry about. I'll will still pray for good results.

All in all it was a good visit. Mom, Jamie and Janel all went with me. We stopped to do a little quick shopping on the way home. It was a good day.

Thanks for all your prayers and concern.
Love, Jess and family.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

BACK FROM CHICAGO

We traveled to Chicago this past weekend for the 5k to raise money for the American Brain Tumor Association. We had a great time. We had over 50 people on our team and our team raised nearly $14,000!!! It was cool to see so many people come out to support us! Mike, Luke and I had so much fun! We needed to get away. With all that's going on we're just so busy and don't get much time to do fun stuff. Luke was so fun. He's such a good traveler. He didn't care what we did as long as he was able to swim in the pool (the very cold pool) every day! Thank you to everyone who supported this cause and who went along and participated!

Right now it's 1:45 am on Tuesday morning. Today we travel to Cleveland for my routine MRI and this time an EEG. The EEG is to check for any seizure activity and for this EEG I'm not allowed to have more than 4 hours of sleep tonight and no caffeine tomorrow before the test. I figured I can't go to bed till at least 2:30 am. This is not going over well for me! I really like to sleep. I went to Meijer to get groceries after work tonight since they're open 24 hours. That helped pass some of the time, now I'm just catching up on some emails and whatever else I can do to stay awake. Hopefully I won't need to have an EEG very often!!

I feel very positive about this apt. I was pretty much a wreck before my last MRI and I feel so much better this time. Much less fear this time. Mike and Luke are not going with me this time. Since I have to have these MRI's on such a regular basis for so many years I thought maybe some other people would like to go and be familiar with where I go. It's always nice to put a face with a name. Mom, Jamie and Janel (both girls that I work with) are going with me. It will be a long boring day for all of them but hopefully they'll be glad they went. I'll be pretty busy all day but they'll be doing a lot of sitting and waiting.

Round # 8 is coming right up. I should start treatment next Monday. It comes up so quickly.
I realized just recently that it's been 8 months now since I was diagnosed and so many of the days since then I been plagued with the thought of "how long do I have?" I'm constantly wondering if I'll see Luke go to school, play Baseball, graduate, etc, if I'll get to grow old with Mike. I think this is just all part of the process of my diagnosis but I also realized that when I'm 80 yrs. old I don't want to look back and think I spent all that time worrying about how long I have. So I'm a little lost in this current struggle but working hard at figuring out how to get passed this. Usually as these thoughts enter my mind I quickly turn them into positive thoughts of feeling so sure that this is not going to take me from my life here on this earth. I really do believe that I will be here for many, many long years. But these thoughts still don't seem to go far enough from my mind. I'm finding that it just all takes time to work through. I just have to go through all these phases and process it all at my own pace. I'm getting there it will just take time. I think Mike is getting there too. He struggles with this too. Please don't think that I'm down or depressed, I'm really doing well. This has just been the phase I'm working through right now and thought I'd share it with you.

Well I think my eyes are starting to go cross and it's now 2:15 am. I can soon go to bed. If this seems jumbled and not well written, sorry. I'm not real alert right now. I will post after my day today and let you know how the MRI and etc. looks. I may not post till Wed. We'll see how tired I am when I get home on Tuesday evening.

GOOD NIGHT! :) JESS

Monday, April 7, 2008

GO MEMPHIS TIGERS!

Everything's been pretty well here. We just wanted to send out a little Good Luck to our Memphis, TN. family! How about those TIGERS!!!! Mike and I visited our family in Memphis a few years ago and when we went upstairs to pack our bags to come home we were suprised by our very own Memphis Tigers T-shirts. So we will definitely be wearing those this week supporting you here in OHIO.

GOOD LUCK!

Round #7 of treatment is supposed to start tomorrow (Monday). I will have my blood drawn tomorrow am. and should know by mid afternoon if I'm good to start! So prayers tonight for good results in the am.! I am counting on feeling great and hoping to simply enjoy the week off of work.

Our Chicago trip is rapidly approaching! Luke, Mike and I are all looking forward to a weekend away! Luke is especially looking forward to going back to the Rainforest Cafe. He was very impressed by that! This time it will be even more fun since his Grandmas are going to be there to share in the fun with him.

I'm feeling positive about my next apt. in Cleveland on April 29 & 30. I don't seem to have near the anxiety this time as I did for my previous apt. At least not yet! When I worry, I try to turn it to prayer and I usually feel peace. I'd be lying if I said the tears don't still fly at any random time. I guess that's just all part of it.

Mike has some vacation time he has to use up before April 18 so we are looking forward to spending some extra time with him! I'm sure he'll be busy around the house and in the yard but it will be nice just to know he's here! Time as a family has never been so precious to us all! One thing we've learned through this is that we're going to spend our time doing what we want. We know there are some things you just have to do (out of common courtesy,etc.) but we know now that we aren't going to waste our time with things that aren't important. Our family has been so blessed with just simple love, laughter, and happiness and I want to spend all the time I can with my boys!

Unless I write again, you can assume I will start treatment tomorrow night at bedtime! That is our hope.

GO MEMPHIS!

Love, Jess