Can't Sleep

So I tried to go to sleep but I couldn't sleep so here I am typing. I got word tonight that someone who has been very inspiring to me received some very difficult news. I'm not able to share with you what or who but "this news" has me restless. Can you imagine that it all comes back to cancer! Imagine that. I had no idea how much of an effect cancer had on people's lives all around me till it came down and well smacked me in the forehead. I don't know if you realize but it's now been a year since diagnosis, surgery 1, and surgery 2. My conclusion from this year is still that YEP, Cancer sucks. You know what else I've learned. It's not the fear of going to be with our God that keeps me from wanting to go from this life. It's what you leave behind. It's leaving your children, spouse, family, friends, all that. It's not being there for the people you love. You just want to be there for them. You want to be able to pack your kids' lunch, do their laundry, take care of them when they're sick. Yeah, all that you don't think you want to do now is the kind of stuff you don't want your family to have to do alone. Yes, through Tyson's journey I do know that they WILL be okay. BUT, I want to be there to make it all easier for them, to hold their hand when they need it, to wipe away their tears. You know what really irritates me even more than before is those who willingly walk away from their families for their own selfish reasons. Don't take this wrong, I'm not down in the dumps for myself tonight. I'm sad for others tonight and just know that these are some of the things that go through my mind with this diagnosis.

I realized that I have started to get back into the slump of stupid things in life. So today I woke up and thought to myself "what are the things most important to me to accomplish today?" Today my goal was to play as much as I could with Luke, tell Mike I love him (several times), and to make every client that sat in my chair feel great. I hope I continue to do this and don't fall back into the everyday slump of unimportant things.

On a MUCH brighter note, I realized that I forgot to update on Luke's preschool adventure! HE LOVES IT! I can't believe it! He totally surprised us. The day before he started he told us that he was not going followed by tears. He had a change of heart! He went the first day with absolutely no problem and said he wanted to go 100 more times! Is this our child??? We are SO proud of him! He's such a big boy! If I had any clue how to download pictures I would so you could see him dinosaur book bag and all!

That's all for tonight. I guess I needed to get some things of my chest and hopefully now maybe I can sleep.

Goodnight. When your morning comes, smile and enjoy the day!

Love,
Jess