We traveled to Chicago this past weekend for the 5k to raise money for the American Brain Tumor Association. We had a great time. We had over 50 people on our team and our team raised nearly $14,000!!! It was cool to see so many people come out to support us! Mike, Luke and I had so much fun! We needed to get away. With all that's going on we're just so busy and don't get much time to do fun stuff. Luke was so fun. He's such a good traveler. He didn't care what we did as long as he was able to swim in the pool (the very cold pool) every day! Thank you to everyone who supported this cause and who went along and participated!
Right now it's 1:45 am on Tuesday morning. Today we travel to Cleveland for my routine MRI and this time an EEG. The EEG is to check for any seizure activity and for this EEG I'm not allowed to have more than 4 hours of sleep tonight and no caffeine tomorrow before the test. I figured I can't go to bed till at least 2:30 am. This is not going over well for me! I really like to sleep. I went to Meijer to get groceries after work tonight since they're open 24 hours. That helped pass some of the time, now I'm just catching up on some emails and whatever else I can do to stay awake. Hopefully I won't need to have an EEG very often!!
I feel very positive about this apt. I was pretty much a wreck before my last MRI and I feel so much better this time. Much less fear this time. Mike and Luke are not going with me this time. Since I have to have these MRI's on such a regular basis for so many years I thought maybe some other people would like to go and be familiar with where I go. It's always nice to put a face with a name. Mom, Jamie and Janel (both girls that I work with) are going with me. It will be a long boring day for all of them but hopefully they'll be glad they went. I'll be pretty busy all day but they'll be doing a lot of sitting and waiting.
Round # 8 is coming right up. I should start treatment next Monday. It comes up so quickly.
I realized just recently that it's been 8 months now since I was diagnosed and so many of the days since then I been plagued with the thought of "how long do I have?" I'm constantly wondering if I'll see Luke go to school, play Baseball, graduate, etc, if I'll get to grow old with Mike. I think this is just all part of the process of my diagnosis but I also realized that when I'm 80 yrs. old I don't want to look back and think I spent all that time worrying about how long I have. So I'm a little lost in this current struggle but working hard at figuring out how to get passed this. Usually as these thoughts enter my mind I quickly turn them into positive thoughts of feeling so sure that this is not going to take me from my life here on this earth. I really do believe that I will be here for many, many long years. But these thoughts still don't seem to go far enough from my mind. I'm finding that it just all takes time to work through. I just have to go through all these phases and process it all at my own pace. I'm getting there it will just take time. I think Mike is getting there too. He struggles with this too. Please don't think that I'm down or depressed, I'm really doing well. This has just been the phase I'm working through right now and thought I'd share it with you.
Well I think my eyes are starting to go cross and it's now 2:15 am. I can soon go to bed. If this seems jumbled and not well written, sorry. I'm not real alert right now. I will post after my day today and let you know how the MRI and etc. looks. I may not post till Wed. We'll see how tired I am when I get home on Tuesday evening.
GOOD NIGHT! :) JESS
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4 comments:
I check your blog everyday to see what's going on with and was thrilled to see your entry. I just wanted you to know that we still think about you everyday and Jessica still asks how you are and is still praying for you. She'll even ask at school if they can add you to thier daily prayer. She just thinks the world of you Jessie! Along with the rest of us!
I'm glad your trip to Chicago was a huge success and I'm bummed that I couldn't participate. So Kudos to all that did! Wow! $14,000 is such an achievment! I'm sure you are really proud of those who helped.
I can only imagine the thoughts that enter your mind daily but I'm so proud of you for keeping your chin up and dealing with these things head on. But you know what? None of us know how long God will keep us here on earth. When it's our time, it's our time and the best thing we can do is live our lives the best way we know how and to the fullest! And Jessie, you are certainly doing that probably more so than a lot of us! You have had such a huge impact on so many people and I know from my own experience that you inspired me to be a better person. And I'd have to bet that there are many more like me in that dept. I've always told you that I know God has a plan for you and I think that everything you are going through and doing are part of that. You are reaching people with your story through friends and family. I mean think about it. How many people have you touched that you've never met??? I've seen so many comments on your site where the person has to explain to you who they are because they are friends of friends. That is so phenomenal! So just remember that you are not alone and any time you are feeling down there are people standing in line to pick you up and hold you as high as you need to be!
Thank you again for inspiring me and for just being you.
Hi Jessie,
I hope your Tuesday went as great as possible for you. It was nice to hear about your positive Chicago experience. Your honesty, courage, and faith comes through clearly in your sleepy message. Very cool.
I also thought I'd say "hey". Say "hey" to Butch and give him a slap on the hindquarter horsemeat for me too.
Chad.
(the deletion above was me... in case you were wondering who would do such a thing...)
You are such an inspiration to me. I read your blog then go and read Leslie's blog and I cry, laugh and have a few "come to Jesus" moments.
I will continue to pray daily and I am truly proud to know you.
v
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