So I'm done with all my chemo treatments! I'm so thankful. My last one was awful so it really made me appreciate the thought that I won't be doing that again next month. Right now I'm trying to "wake up" and truly grasp the fact that I will not being doing chemo again in the next few months as I'm so used to. It's kind of like on your wedding day (at least for me) when you're trying to make yourself realize that "this is it, it's really here, it's my wedding day!" I feel like it hasn't sunk in yet!
This blog was started to keep everyone up to date on all that was going on with me. Then it was handed over to me and I tried to keep everyone updated too. Now that my "cancer story" seems to be done I'm going to keep the blog just as a type of journal. My hope is that one day it could be printed off for something for Luke to read and have some sort of an idea of what things were like. So since it will be a sort of journal of my life it will probably be boring and you may just want to tune out! :)
I did talk to my Dr. in Cleveland and good news! I don't have to get my blood drawn every other week anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate needles!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also I get to drop one of my prescriptions.
Mike and I are going to be going on a little trip. A sort of done with chemo get away. Nothing big just a little escape. I will update more later when we return.
Luke had his preschool Halloween party today and I was able to go and watch. It was so cute. They are just so fun right now! Tonight he will do a little trick 0 treating then tomorrow evening our church has a Halloween Outreach in the park with inflatables and of course CANDY! He is very excited! Luke has a little collection of costumes. It's no surprise to seem him sitting in the living room playing wearing a spider man costume, dinosaur costume, batman mask, or a transformer. So for his school party today he was Bumblebee (transformer), tonight for trick o treat he's going to be Optimus Prime (another transformer), and then for our church gathering he's going to be spider man. Oh-my! I thought he would be one thing but he wanted to do it this way. So, oh-well. He's having fun!
Happy Halloween.
Have a great weekend!
Jess
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Last One.
I just felt the urge to share with you all that I have swallowed the last of my chemo pills about one hour ago now! It's a good but strange feeling. Mike and I have had lots of talks lately about how I will be feeling in the upcoming months. The Dr.'s told us when I started chemo that I wouldn't know when I was sick with a virus or etc. unless I took my temp because I would be so used to not feeling well. So now I'm hoping that I will soon remember what it feels like to really feel good again. I'm used to the way things are now but will be glad to feel even better yet. This treatment hit me harder than usual. We think that I may have actually had some sort of bug when I started this chemo this week but again I didn't know and never thought to take my temp.
Goodnight.
Love,
Jess
Goodnight.
Love,
Jess
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
Slow on the update.
Sorry that I have been so slow to update. There really isn't much more to say other than it was a good report in Cleveland last week. It was a very long day as usual. We waited about two hours to see my Oncologist which hasn't been typical but it was a very busy place that day and like Mike and I said she has often spent many hours with us and never made us feel rushed so we understand if they get behind. The scan looked obviously more clear to Mike and I. Dr. Tekautz (oncologist) called Thursday to let us know that the official report was that there was some slight improvement and no areas that had changed in a negative way. She also said that if I were to go back and there were some changes in my MRI (some tumor growth) that weren't significant she may put me back on the chemo I've been doing but a different regiment since I have responded so well to this treatment. She said I would more than likely take the meds for 21 days then have 7 off but I'm not sure how long she would have me do this. If I would go back at some point and there was significant growth she said I would then more than likely have surgery again followed by radiation and more chemo. It was such a busy day and we were so anxious to get on our way home that I failed to remember to ask her a few questions like: Will I have to continue to get my bi-weekly blood draw? Can I quit taking some of my meds that were to help with some of the problems chemo was causing on my body? So after this treatment I'm going to give her a call and ask a few more questions.
I was supposed to start my last treatment tonight but due to some sort of miscommunication (as my insurance called it) my meds did not get sent out as they were supposed to and I will not get them till tomorrow. It's really not a huge deal. It frustrates me just because I'm ready to do it and just want to get it done. It's mental. This indeed in my last one. It has been just over a year since I started chemo and this treatment will be round #14. I'm glad to be at this point and it feels like some sort of accomplishment to have made it here and still feel well. I have a lot of hope at this point. I struggle with some anxiety about being done but it's just not in my control. I do not like not being in control!!!! I anticipate that my next visits to Cleveland being off treatment might come with more anxiety than those while I've been taking chemo. I guess we'll take that on when it comes.
While we were at Cleveland we looked up a fellow brain cancer patient that we knew was having his second surgery in two years. I had been connected with him and his family through Ginny. So Mike and I stopped at the Doughbox on our way and picked up some fresh cookies for his family while they waited for his surgery to be over. I was nervous that it would seem weird that we were going to go up and introduce ourselves to people we had never met not to mention they were anxiously awaiting to hear that their husband/son etc was doing well after surgery. Well we were so glad we went and found them. We went there thinking we were going to be able to do something nice/good for them but walked away from them feeling like they had done much more for us. They were so encouraging, so positive, and so uplifting. Since then the last post I read was that he is doing well maybe even better than after his first surgery. So they had good news that day and so did we.
Mike and I tend to have a good in depth discussion after we leave church. Sometimes it's because I didn't get the sermon and I (this is really embarrassing to admit) ask him what exactly they were talking about. :) Don't get me wrong. I love the church we attend and part of what I love is that they make the message (usually) so clear and easily related. As most of you who know me well know that a lot goes over my head! :) Anyways, Mike and I were talking about all that has happened in the last year and all the things leading us up to this point. It was a good talk and everything seemed so clear to us. We often struggle with not being able to have more children but we KNOW that we have been SO blessed with Luke. He brings us the most pure, sweet, innocent joy. Last Sunday when we were having one of these talks we talked so much about Luke and the timing of everything. We were for the moment able to ease some of our feelings about not having anymore. Everyday we are thankful for Luke!
Treatment will start tomorrow and I will update after that.
Have a great week!
Love,
Jess
P.S. I know something you don't know! :) I love being able to say that! HA!
I was supposed to start my last treatment tonight but due to some sort of miscommunication (as my insurance called it) my meds did not get sent out as they were supposed to and I will not get them till tomorrow. It's really not a huge deal. It frustrates me just because I'm ready to do it and just want to get it done. It's mental. This indeed in my last one. It has been just over a year since I started chemo and this treatment will be round #14. I'm glad to be at this point and it feels like some sort of accomplishment to have made it here and still feel well. I have a lot of hope at this point. I struggle with some anxiety about being done but it's just not in my control. I do not like not being in control!!!! I anticipate that my next visits to Cleveland being off treatment might come with more anxiety than those while I've been taking chemo. I guess we'll take that on when it comes.
While we were at Cleveland we looked up a fellow brain cancer patient that we knew was having his second surgery in two years. I had been connected with him and his family through Ginny. So Mike and I stopped at the Doughbox on our way and picked up some fresh cookies for his family while they waited for his surgery to be over. I was nervous that it would seem weird that we were going to go up and introduce ourselves to people we had never met not to mention they were anxiously awaiting to hear that their husband/son etc was doing well after surgery. Well we were so glad we went and found them. We went there thinking we were going to be able to do something nice/good for them but walked away from them feeling like they had done much more for us. They were so encouraging, so positive, and so uplifting. Since then the last post I read was that he is doing well maybe even better than after his first surgery. So they had good news that day and so did we.
Mike and I tend to have a good in depth discussion after we leave church. Sometimes it's because I didn't get the sermon and I (this is really embarrassing to admit) ask him what exactly they were talking about. :) Don't get me wrong. I love the church we attend and part of what I love is that they make the message (usually) so clear and easily related. As most of you who know me well know that a lot goes over my head! :) Anyways, Mike and I were talking about all that has happened in the last year and all the things leading us up to this point. It was a good talk and everything seemed so clear to us. We often struggle with not being able to have more children but we KNOW that we have been SO blessed with Luke. He brings us the most pure, sweet, innocent joy. Last Sunday when we were having one of these talks we talked so much about Luke and the timing of everything. We were for the moment able to ease some of our feelings about not having anymore. Everyday we are thankful for Luke!
Treatment will start tomorrow and I will update after that.
Have a great week!
Love,
Jess
P.S. I know something you don't know! :) I love being able to say that! HA!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
PRAISES - PRAISES - PRAISES
Thank you Jesus.....the report was good today.
Mike and Jessie are headed home from Cleveland. It has been a long day and she does have a headache and might not post a blog tonight, but soon.
She will start her last round of chemo on Monday. Continue to pray, even though the chemo is not kind to her body, the last treatment also brings understandable fears.
Thanks to each of you for your prayers - they have been felt.
Mike and Jessie are headed home from Cleveland. It has been a long day and she does have a headache and might not post a blog tonight, but soon.
She will start her last round of chemo on Monday. Continue to pray, even though the chemo is not kind to her body, the last treatment also brings understandable fears.
Thanks to each of you for your prayers - they have been felt.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Check Up Time
So a big THANK YOU to "Ginny" for the pictures she added today to the blog!!! She's the best!!! What a surprise it was to open it up today and see those.
We had a big weekend. We were having some water problems in our basement since we've moved in and so this weekend they dug up all around our basement. It was a mess. It's all filled back in now but now we have no front porch, no grass by the house, and no landscape! It's not pretty. So for any guests, you're going to have to come through the garage. Sounds like it's going to be a few weeks before they put the new porch on and I guess we're not supposed to do any landscaping till next spring so that the ground can settle. I hope it snows A LOT this year because our yard is going to be ugly till next spring!
We had huge piles of dirt all around our house while this was going on this weekend. It was a boys dream! Luke was loving it. We got his winter sled out of the barn and he, my mom, and myself were sledding down the DIRT hills! He was SO dirty. I had to grit my teeth at first but after the first layer of dirt was on I knew there was no turning back! He had an absolute blast. He was pretty cute too all covered in dirt!
My main reason for writing this post was to ask for your prayers. I have my usual 3 month check up this Wednesday the 15th. Just Mike and I are going this time. I'm not upset about it at this point. I am learning a lot and trying hard not to worry, to trust, to accept, to be still, to live, to love deeper, to cherish, and to have fun and laugh. I'm sure that from the time I go into that MRI machine until my Doctor delivers the good news I will have some anxiety. At this point I'm okay. I do appreciate your prayers though! They have been answered in the past! I will update as soon as I can. I'm usually pretty wore out Wednesday when we get home, but I try to make sure I post as I know you all will be anxious to hear. I pray that God continues to show my Dr.'s his miraculous healing!!!!
Have a great week.
Love,
Mike, Jess, and Luke
We had a big weekend. We were having some water problems in our basement since we've moved in and so this weekend they dug up all around our basement. It was a mess. It's all filled back in now but now we have no front porch, no grass by the house, and no landscape! It's not pretty. So for any guests, you're going to have to come through the garage. Sounds like it's going to be a few weeks before they put the new porch on and I guess we're not supposed to do any landscaping till next spring so that the ground can settle. I hope it snows A LOT this year because our yard is going to be ugly till next spring!
We had huge piles of dirt all around our house while this was going on this weekend. It was a boys dream! Luke was loving it. We got his winter sled out of the barn and he, my mom, and myself were sledding down the DIRT hills! He was SO dirty. I had to grit my teeth at first but after the first layer of dirt was on I knew there was no turning back! He had an absolute blast. He was pretty cute too all covered in dirt!
My main reason for writing this post was to ask for your prayers. I have my usual 3 month check up this Wednesday the 15th. Just Mike and I are going this time. I'm not upset about it at this point. I am learning a lot and trying hard not to worry, to trust, to accept, to be still, to live, to love deeper, to cherish, and to have fun and laugh. I'm sure that from the time I go into that MRI machine until my Doctor delivers the good news I will have some anxiety. At this point I'm okay. I do appreciate your prayers though! They have been answered in the past! I will update as soon as I can. I'm usually pretty wore out Wednesday when we get home, but I try to make sure I post as I know you all will be anxious to hear. I pray that God continues to show my Dr.'s his miraculous healing!!!!
Have a great week.
Love,
Mike, Jess, and Luke
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Can't Sleep
So I tried to go to sleep but I couldn't sleep so here I am typing. I got word tonight that someone who has been very inspiring to me received some very difficult news. I'm not able to share with you what or who but "this news" has me restless. Can you imagine that it all comes back to cancer! Imagine that. I had no idea how much of an effect cancer had on people's lives all around me till it came down and well smacked me in the forehead. I don't know if you realize but it's now been a year since diagnosis, surgery 1, and surgery 2. My conclusion from this year is still that YEP, Cancer sucks. You know what else I've learned. It's not the fear of going to be with our God that keeps me from wanting to go from this life. It's what you leave behind. It's leaving your children, spouse, family, friends, all that. It's not being there for the people you love. You just want to be there for them. You want to be able to pack your kids' lunch, do their laundry, take care of them when they're sick. Yeah, all that you don't think you want to do now is the kind of stuff you don't want your family to have to do alone. Yes, through Tyson's journey I do know that they WILL be okay. BUT, I want to be there to make it all easier for them, to hold their hand when they need it, to wipe away their tears. You know what really irritates me even more than before is those who willingly walk away from their families for their own selfish reasons. Don't take this wrong, I'm not down in the dumps for myself tonight. I'm sad for others tonight and just know that these are some of the things that go through my mind with this diagnosis.
I realized that I have started to get back into the slump of stupid things in life. So today I woke up and thought to myself "what are the things most important to me to accomplish today?" Today my goal was to play as much as I could with Luke, tell Mike I love him (several times), and to make every client that sat in my chair feel great. I hope I continue to do this and don't fall back into the everyday slump of unimportant things.
On a MUCH brighter note, I realized that I forgot to update on Luke's preschool adventure! HE LOVES IT! I can't believe it! He totally surprised us. The day before he started he told us that he was not going followed by tears. He had a change of heart! He went the first day with absolutely no problem and said he wanted to go 100 more times! Is this our child??? We are SO proud of him! He's such a big boy! If I had any clue how to download pictures I would so you could see him dinosaur book bag and all!
That's all for tonight. I guess I needed to get some things of my chest and hopefully now maybe I can sleep.
Goodnight. When your morning comes, smile and enjoy the day!
Love,
Jess
I realized that I have started to get back into the slump of stupid things in life. So today I woke up and thought to myself "what are the things most important to me to accomplish today?" Today my goal was to play as much as I could with Luke, tell Mike I love him (several times), and to make every client that sat in my chair feel great. I hope I continue to do this and don't fall back into the everyday slump of unimportant things.
On a MUCH brighter note, I realized that I forgot to update on Luke's preschool adventure! HE LOVES IT! I can't believe it! He totally surprised us. The day before he started he told us that he was not going followed by tears. He had a change of heart! He went the first day with absolutely no problem and said he wanted to go 100 more times! Is this our child??? We are SO proud of him! He's such a big boy! If I had any clue how to download pictures I would so you could see him dinosaur book bag and all!
That's all for tonight. I guess I needed to get some things of my chest and hopefully now maybe I can sleep.
Goodnight. When your morning comes, smile and enjoy the day!
Love,
Jess
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